legal stuff

I have been very crabby lately.  I have had a lot of stress at work.  The Florida legislature has decided that all state employees making more than $45,000 will face a 2% pay cut in July.  It is rather insulting.  We have gone several years without a pay raise. Our budget has been cut so that each attorney is doing the job of more than one attorney (I carry almost two full caseloads). We have been asked to do more work with fewer resources. Now we are rewarded for all of that with a pay cut.  It has made me very angry. I won’t leave my job. I have faith that my boss will insure that my pay is restored as soon as it is possible under our budget. That being said, it is still unfair.

Fortunately, I got yarn in the mail the day that the pay cut was announced!  It is Twisted in Crabby McCrabbypants!  I love it!  I have been obsessed with the Shawl that Jazz pattern by Samantha Roshak since it was announced on the Lime & Violet Daily Chum.  I had been searching for the perfect yarn.  Yarn Harlot showed pictures of hers done in Twisted.  As soon as I saw it, I knew that was the yarn I had been looking for. I didn’t want to do it in the same colorway (too dark), so I spent hours looking at the little circles on the Blue Moon Fiber Arts site.  I finally decided on the Crabby McCrabbypants colorway. It is not at all what I expected. I love it so much more than I thought that I would. It is knitting up so beautifully too.  Fortunately, I had that project to cast on when I had such a bad day. Who knew that something called Crabby McCrabbypants would kill my crabby mood!


Last weekend, I got a wonderful package in the mail.  My order from Knitpicks came in!  I wanted to post about it, but I had a trial this week.  I got three skeins of the Merlot Heather Swish yarn for the February Square.  I have two of the squares done and the third started.  The February Square will be the same on all three blankets (unlike the January Squares…they are all different).  It was another really simple pattern.  Incidently, the squares are supposed to come out 11 x 11.  Mine are all 9 x 9. I was a bit worried that they wouldn’t be consitent, but they are!

The other new thing that came was a book…It Itches! by Franklin Habit of the Panopticon.  It was wonderful!  I laughed really hard.  My DH looked at a few and thought that they were very funny (he is a non-knitter). He kept saying, “This is so you!” If you can get your hands on it, do!  I am keeping it in my knitting side table. I keep picking it back up.

I feel like I have been gone for so long. I have been here. I just haven’t been knitting much or blogging at all. I didn’t even log onto Ravelry for over a month!!

Work has been crazy. The kidlets are growing too fast. Home is a wreck. I just haven’t had time for me. I am officially reclaiming me time. I am having frequent migraines and am frazzled beyond belief. Time for me to do things I love. My house is going to be an even bigger wreck. I won’t ever catch up at work. At least, I can be a good mommy if I take care of myself. So, I am officially back!

I am doing only a small amount of holiday knitting. I am making another yuletide gnome (I will post a picture later) for my secret pal at work! He is cute. This time I am knitting it in the round. That is so much easier than knitting flat and seaming. I will post how I did it later, once I am sure it will work for the boots and mittens (that is an experiment).

I have also picked back up the monkeys I was working on. I have also done a few more squares on my blankie. Eventually, I hope to get back involved in some swaps!

I know it is supposed to be the other way around, but that is not how things are going for me right now. I am currently in a bit of a storm. I know that calm is on its way, but that isn’t where I am right now. DH left today for Orlando. He has a conference there. The boys and I will be joining him on Tuesday. I know that everything will be calm and fun while we are there. I keep reminding myself of that.

Before then, I am dealing with the storm. I have the two boys by myself. LB is really upset that his Daddy isn’t here. He keeps insisting that we leave for “Borlando” now. CB senses his brother’s mood and has been a bit cranky tonight. I am also worrying about packing for all three of us. I have to get diapers clean and dried tomorrow night so that we have them for travel (the only time I wish I didn’t cloth diaper…I thought about putting CB in disposables for the trip, but with his sensitive skin I just can’t). I also have a really rough day ahead of me tomorrow in court (the reason we won’t be leaving until Tuesday). I will have to take the dogs to the vet (not an easy task by myself), too.

On top of all of that, my grandfather decided to stop his various treatments and allow himself to die. He is 85, and they say that he has fewer than 5 days left. His quality of life has not been good for the last year or so. He is ready. The problem is that the rest of us aren’t (selfish, I know). I have been feeling a lot of guilt. I can’t be there (can you believe $1500 for a plane ticket to go for just a few days). I am starting that “I wish I had called more” stuff. I also feel sad that I don’t have pictures of my boys with my grandfather. He has only gotten to see LB once (almost three years ago, when LB was 7 months old). He has never gotten to see CB. It makes me sad. There isn’t anything I can do about it, but it makes me sad. The thing is, I know that my grandpa has not been happy for a while. He is spunky and full of life. The last year (and especially the last few months), he has been weak and sick. His spunk turned to grouchiness. I know that isn’t how he wants to live. I know that he is at peace with his decision. He is ready to stop suffering and have some of his own calm. I also know that I would feel guilty even if I had called him everyday. That is how I deal with grief. I just try to remember that he knows how much I love him. He always has. He says that he feels that love surrounding him now. I know that in the next few days, I will get the sad news that he is gone. The anticipation is almost as bad right now (maybe worse since I know that he is still suffering now).

This particular stress is making all the others in my life even more acute. As I deal with work stuff, I field calls asking about life insurance and the difference between withdrawl of treatment and suicide. While dealing with cranky boys, I talk to my grandfather and try to tell him cute stories about the boys (as he requested). I cry at random times, and I try not to let it show at work or to the boys. I am trying to decide how to explain it to LB (or IF to explain it to LB). I have tried not to let it interfere with work or parenting, but it does some. I can’t let my co-workers, clients, children, or my grandfather see me crying. It is just too much to explain to any of them right now (except grandpa…it just makes him sad).

I just keep waiting for the calm. I keep reminding myself that the storms will pass.

The last week or so has been really crazy. Because I had several days of court last week, jury selection on Monday, even more court this week, and a trial on Thursday (and then court again on Friday), I haven’t had much time for anything but work. Needless to say, I haven’t had much of a chance to post. I have had a lot I have been meaning to say, too. First, I got my new sock project bag! I absolutely love it! It is from Spinningdoggies on Etsy. I really wanted something with pockets inside for my notions. I don’t like keeping them in a bag or tin because I want to just be able to reach in the bag and find them. This also has pockets outside. As you can see from the picture, one of them is the perfect size for my mp3 player. The others are empty (for now). The inside pockets fit my notions perfectly! I wish the picture of the inside was a little better. This is the medium sized bag. I think it would be the perfect size for adult sized sock project. I have a toddler sized sock project, so it is a bit big for that (but I plan on making myself and DH some socks at some point, so I wanted the bigger size). Another thing I love about this bag is that it can snap onto my purse. My purse is a Vera Bradley in Cambridge. This bag kind of matches! I really, really love this bag!
Monday, I cast on for a new project as a reward for surviving jury selection preparations. I cast on an Alan Dart Yuletide Gnome! I originally cast on on 2s. Unfortunately, the yarn I found that was kind of flesh toned is a worsted acrylic. It didn’t like the 2s. I had to frog and start over on 3s. This is my evenings in front of the tv project. It is for Logan. He chose grey and green for the colors of the gnome (the hat, boots, and mittens will be green…the body is grey). The gnome is really easy! It is a fun, quick project. I have made good progress despite two nights this week working on my laptop instead of knitting!

Today, I had a knitting first! I blocked something for the first time ever. I blocked the scarf for my mom! It came out so beautifully! I don’t have a blocking board, so I just used some pins and towels. I put them on my deck railing (it is about the width that I wanted, so it was perfect). We had such a pretty day! The blocking really opened up the lace and gave it such nice shape! The blocking really made the scarf look like a scarf. I can’t wait to see what my mom thinks of it! She is going to love it! It really made me rethink giving it away. DH also wondered why I wasn’t keeping it when he saw it. I reminded him that I could always buy more of the same yarn and make another if I decide I really need one. I may just do that! I have just a bit left of the Lorna’s Laces Black Purl. I will probably make another of the baby gnomes for one of my nieces.
So, if you have read this far, you are probably wondering about my trial. I got a not guilty verdict!! At the end of the trial, the Judge told me that his former law partner used to say that winning a not guilty verdict was better than sex. I just had to laugh at him. I didn’t feel that way at all. All I felt was relief that I hadn’t messed up too badly. I know that when a client is probably guilty and I win, I do feel that way (it is more of a game). When a client is truely innocent and I win, I just feel relief. Part of that is some self doubt in my practice. Part of that is just a relief that the system still works. Anyway, I felt relief because I really believed in this particular client (and this particular client really believed in me…something that scared me to death). So, that was part of why my week was crazy. I worked really, really hard because I knew that I would never forgive myself for not working hard enough and losing. As it turned out, I was probably really overprepared (a good thing). Now that the trial is over, the knitting will be able to pick back up!

Since “Why?” is a favorite query of Little Bug’s, I will use it as a format to introduce myself.

Why a blog?
In the last year or so, I discovered the world of blogs. Since then, I have composed blog posts in my head without writing a single one down. They have been about everything from random legal bits to craft projects to everyday life. I decided it was finally time to jump on in and actually write them down.

Why Oh Give Me a Gnome?
Well, I love gnomes. Coming from a Norwegian family that is obsessed with gnomes, I also became obsessed. It just fits me. It isn’t specific to any one part of my life, but applies to them all. At work, I wish I had a filing gnome to help me. At home, I wish I had a gnome that did housework. In knitting, I wish I had a gnome that would work in the ends for me. Let’s face it, a busy girl has got to dream!

Why no real names?
Safety, my little dear ones, safety. I deal with scary people from time to time. I don’t like leading them to my front door. Mostly it is to protect the Bugs. I don’t want everyone knowing who and where they are. It is a scary world out there, and my job is to protect them (another good use for a gnome…traditionally, they were believed to be protectors of children while the parents slept). Besides, it is fun to have a secret identity (well, partially secret…some people know who I am, but they have been thouroughly background checked).

What will this blog be about (ok, not a why…I know)?
It will be about a little bit of everything that happens in my life. All those internal blog posts come to life!